Eish baba

 

As mentioned before, sometimes I get to write copy for our company. I enjoy my sense of humour, I hope you do too.

 

Order, order! It’s time to reshuffle our cabinet Dawpro style.

 

Dawpro Media will be appealing previous and outdated means of advertising. If you want to save money and obtain more clients, you will need to jump off the HeliGupta and let Dawpro Media take you viral. Let us show(reel) you how.

 

Short left to the point. Forming an alliance with Dawpro Media will guarantee you no late night dismissals in the industry from the ANC (Advertising National Corporation). We will also commit to keeping your clients alert and watching you like hawks.

 

This means you will need to take a pledge against keeping a small client base and commit to Video Production, Animation, and Virtual Reality, taking a vow to incorporate Section 36 of Online Content Creation and Live Streaming into your business model. This will warrant a successful journey in the industry and keep your competitors at a far distance. We at Dawpro Media pledge to expand your client list and grow your company into a reputable and profitable establishment, using all media platforms.

 

Listen now, listen properly, you have a deadline to move forward, consisting of six and twenty, four and thirty hundred hours until the release date. No extensions shall be permitted, no matter whom you claim to be.

 

Your application to commence with Dawpro Media has been granted.

 

Have a look at Dawpro Media and Dawpro Digital Agency for some banging video production and off that charts mobile apps!

 

Choices

I am sure that if you have read more than one of my articles you would have realized that I am a young mom and by that I mean, I am a twenty-five-year-old child with a daughter that is about to turn eight. Holy shit, right?

How old was I when I gave birth? Seventeen. Judgment is so over-rated at this point. Most kids have barely reached puberty at that age. Gosh, I am sure I am still limbering in the adolescence zone, wait, is that possible? Does anybody know the term for post-puberty and pre-menopause?

I have had so many people question my choice. I have been asked to answer what I would have done if it had been my daughter that fell pregnant. Tell me something, how can you give an honest answer unless you are in that exact situation, just with roles reversed? The answer is, you can’t.

How did I do it? Hard work, plenty kisses and cuddles and extreme patience (not yet entirely mastered). The biggest, most important thing a child needs is your love. Period. And, at seventeen, I had copious amounts to give and I have yet to run out.

I have probably learned about 1% of what there is to know about being a mom; and a dad for that matter. Wait, that’s a complete exaggeration. Let’s forget the numbers for now. I am learning every day. I am tested every day. But this is the journey I chose for myself and I am totally content to be walking it with her.

Would this trend as a weekly recommendation on Twitter – highly unlikely. Is this a smart idea? The answer would definitely vary from person to person, obviously. I am personally pro-choice and that is where I choose to leave you today.

Mom problems

Can somebody please give me an indication of what age we will be comfortable in our own skin?When do the comparisons stop? When does the self-judgment end? Do we ever become totally at peace with who we are and how others see us? 

All the other moms at school seem to have it completely together. As they glide out of their 4×4’s in their tight gym clothing, every morning. Modeling their squeaky clean running shoes and perfectly blow-dried hair. Good God, I barely had time to brush my teeth this morning let alone get ready for the gym before work.

And get this, they have three kids. All of similar age. I have one and I can barely keep it together. Standing with her shoelaces undone and her collar still tucked into her jersey, I sigh. I have asked her to do her laces three times in the last ten minutes. Our morning ritual seems to be on repeat. I barely jump out the car when saying goodbye to her. My makeup is not done yet and I am still in slippers. She would die of embarrassment if she was spotted with me.

These Goddesses seem to gather in packs of three or four with their takeaway coffees and their brand new Aviators. Even from inside my car I notice how sparkly white their teeth are as they stand there laughing at I don’t even know what. Am I being punked here? Did I miss the memo?

I need to rush to get to work on time and here they stand giggling and chatting as though time does not matter. I wish.

Shit, I forgot to sign her homework book again. Complete chaos.

I feel like I am the only one struggling to stay on top of things. If there are any other moms that can relate in any way, it would be awesome to know I am not alone. 

#mominsecurities 

What race am I?

Have you ever gone through an application to apply for a bond, bank account or clothing account? I spotted something totally ridiculous on the personal question side. It’s nothing new, but it just hit home so I thought I would share.

The form obviously asks you for your name, ID number, gender etc. Have you consciously noticed it also asks you to write down your race? Is that a trick question? My race? Uh, how many races are there on planet earth? Call me blonde or whatever but as far as I know, there is only one. So I am going to show you what to do going forward and how to answer that question, the right way.

 

Name: Kimberley Craul

Birthday: 30 January

Gender: Female

Race: Human

House training – lowlight

Get a puppy they said. It will be fun they said. Well, the joke is on me.

 

Yeah sure it will be fun, until you are the only one cleaning up dog poop, wee and making sure he has clean water. Every hour.

 

Three phone chargers chewed in one week. Did you hear me? ONE WEEK! Ha! Karma. Crap!

 

Of course My Rotti is cute and adorable and of course, I love him to bits and pieces. But I am running out of socks at a rapid pace and cleaning up his business is not the highlight of my week. I have reached the stage where all I can do is laugh when I see this. He doesn’t seem to care about being punished. Great, another stubborn member to add to the family.

 

I kinda get the feeling he does it on purpose. Stand on the grass for twenty minutes, go potty, come on boy. Makes wee. Good Boy!!! Go inside for five minutes, marks his territory somewhere else. It is as though he didn’t let it all out, intentionally, and then he looks at me for approval. No Lex, I am not going to praise you for peeing on the carpet. Again!

 

Let me say one thing, this pup is lucky he has a gorgeous face because it wouldn’t be so easy if he were a rat. At what age do dogs know where to go potty? Rant over.

 

Misophonia

I am completely aware that I am bursting with many disorders but I found out today I have another one. Shock and horror. When I approached Google with my symptoms, she diagnosed me with Misophonia. Gasp!

 

For those of you who don’t know what it means – see below:

 

Misophonia, literally “hatred of sound”, was proposed in 2000 as a condition in which negative emotions, thoughts, and physical reactions are triggered by specific sounds.

 

For example, if I hear you chew. Oh, my good Lord, I am done, finished and out the room. I cannot express the immediate anger my body goes through when hearing someone chew with their mouth open, slurp their tea or continuously sniff. The company or friendship is not worth the cringe.

 

I do not have the emotional capacity to deal with this and I would rather eat alone for the rest of my entire life then deal with this soul-destroying sound for as little as five minutes, Period.

 

Am I the only one out there with Misophonia? Or can you relate?

Sometimes I get to write copy for the Office

Now and again, the company I work for, Dawpro Digital Agency, allow me to write copy. Here is the thing, I am not a qualified copywriter but I love getting creative through words. Here is one of my Google Adwords Adverts – Let me know what you think?

 

O clients, clients wherefore art thou clients?

The wheel is come full circle: I am here. Some fall by print, we rise by digital. Swear not by thy old, but swear by thy new.

But thy eternal digital shall not fade, nor lose possession of thy market. It shall shine and grow to dominate for all the days to come.

Still stuck in the 2000’s? Fear not, as your savior in digital armor has come to the rescue!

See more at – Digital Marketing South Africa 

The Executive Update

In a couple of hours, I was able to gather an array of relevant information by opening only one book.

Ian’s book was easy on the eyes and completely captivating, it kept me wanting to read and learn more. And that is what I did, I learned.

This was a definite value add and I look forward to the next one.

Just a few chapters to look forward to:

  1. People and machines
  2. The evolution of organizations
  3. Working with a higher consciousness
  4. Leadership medicine

Ian Mann has written the following three books and I would totally recommend to everyone that they give them a bash.

  • The Executive Update
  • Managing With Intent
  • Strategy That Works

What to and what not to

I have been downloading tons of movies at work lately. Let me tell you something. Nothing annoys me more than being excited to get home and turn on the TV to find out what I downloaded is absolute garb! I do not trust others views and ratings any longer. So, out of the kindness of my heart, I am recommending movies, old and new – what to watch and what not to watch.

 

List number one – totally watchable

  • Sing
  • Bridget Jones baby
  • Chef
  • The Imitation Game
  • That awkward moment
  • The rewrite
  • Gone baby gone
  • The founder
  • Moana
  • The accountant

 

List number two – word vomit

  • All roads lead to Rome
  • This is the end
  • Swiss army man
  • Tammy
  • Don’t breathe
  • The forest

One night in Century City

A quick shout out to Phumile ( Pumba ) from The Century City Hotel.

What an absolute pleasure to be in the company of this fine gentleman. Our Lion King member, working for the Century City Hotel was on top form while we spent a night at this trendy hotel. His vast knowledge, broad smile and willingness to help was completely refreshing. 

You don’t often find employees of this caliber. So, CC Hotel, look after this one.