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Social media has become an entity that has consumed us all #instadaily #likeforlike #OMG #hashtag


Whilst listening to my commercial garbage playing on the speaker and sitting on my couch with my #duckface – I write to all you digital slappers!


Did you know that you can Google “ how to get more followers” I mean SERIOUSLY??? Is that not literally begging for stalkers that you don’t even know? Ha! #YOLO – Or is this the end-goal in life nowadays? Mines bigger than yours (on social media of course)! Friends, I have more than 3000 people following me on Instagram. Isn’t that #Instacool? They like totally love me. #Winning #Onfleek


I keep getting distracted with the point of this post to you all, wait, I’ll BRB – Let me quickly take a #Selfie! Ah, but that camera though! Just love the filters; I can totally hide behind my freckles and spots. #blessed #nomakeupselfie #Iwokeuplikethis


Good people, am I at least starting to sound completely pathetic AF? If no then I guess you can cash me outside. If yes, then I’ll stop it. I’ll just stop it right here because bae don’t like when I talk like this.


ENOUGH – I am an educated human being and I vow to show my intelligence whilst posting anything on the Internet. I will no longer be lured into the world of the uneducated and write as though I do not come from this universe. I vow to never use Acronyms or Social Media slang. It is pretentious and shows insecurities.




Okay, that was the last one – I had to. #guilty